What happened last month?

I felt guilty when I missed a recap four weeks ago, I’ll be damned if I miss this one too, and so I’ll just have to be extra quick on the both of our May workshops if I’m ever to assuage my everlasting catholic guilt.  On May 16th, The Hour After Happy Hour read some excellent poetry submissions from Dean Matthews, and Kara Helmick-Nelson – our first bout into poetry since the last time we talked about poetry (probably a really long time).

Dean’s project focuses on the intersection of science and poetry.The poem I’m going to call Our Canoe Wobbled (because I love that title/line) clocked in at about two pages with some mystifyingly huge but specific imagery like, “that lake as still and huge as childhood.”

The numerous themes and multiple meanings within the work made discussion particularly rich – from man’s impact on the lake where the poem was set, to a loss of childhood.  The poem also blended some really cool colloquial speech with a more dominant analytic voice.  The second poem tentatively titled Scoring described the careful and disturbingly casual/constant dissection of a lab mice.

From reincarnating mice, we dove into Kara’s poems – Kara possesses a particular gift for reflecting on current events, and using them to drive her poems, something I enjoy, but often fall short of accomplishing. Shelley famously wrote, “Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.”

The three poems focused on different contemporary issues, from organ harvesting in China to the recent disturbingly horrendous  stabbing at Target in East Liberty.  With short line breaks, these poems were quick, but powerful.  One line that I particularly love is, “Her cry is rosewater,” from a poem called She Digs.  

Our most recent workshop featured yours truly, as well as Jason Peck’s third submission to the group.

For this story, Jason really challenged himself to step outside of his own consciousness and into the voice of a lonely, yet very helpful waitress at a local diner.  For not being a waitress in his late 30′s, I thought Jason nailed the voice and setting, and never doubted the identity of the speaker.   Jason’s laconic prose  that I think we’ve all come to eagerly anticipate shined brightly again.

My story was on the block next.  Having just begun to write about this workshop, and never about my own experience of being workshopped that wasn’t whining about colleagues and professors, all I will say is that I really appreciated the feedback.  So it’s not a total cop-out my submission was from a hopeful novel I’d started in college but given up on.  This group inspired me to pick it back up.  For that I’m forever grateful – this also being my first shot at actually finishing  fiction in a really really long time.  The idea is that it is a Young Adult piece that focuses on a few different narrators as they embark on their Senior Trip before college, currently called “Then it wasn’t”.  This is already better than it was after a 4-month independent study.  So I thank you all again.  This group’s talent continues to stupefy me.

This Thursday we’ll feature two brilliant writers (and brilliant people – which is totally not always the case) in Lea Bridi and Martin Van Velsen, and I know you don’t want to miss that!

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Thursday May 2nd Recap- “The horror! The Horror!”

“Anything approaching the change that came over his features I have never seen before, and hope never to see again. Oh, I wasn’t touched. I was fascinated. It was as though a veil had been rent. I saw on that ivory face the expression of somber pride, of ruthless power, of craven terror–of an intense and hopeless despair. Did he live his life again in every detail of desire, temptation, and surrender during that supreme moment of complete knowledge? He cried in a whisper at some image, at some vision,–he cried out twice, a cry that was no more than a breath–

“`The horror! The horror!’

Joeseph Conrad – “Heart of Darkness”

On Thursdsay, May 2nd, The Hour After Happy Hour discussed two short stories. The first was a horror-genre piece submitted by Bruce and Susan Lockhart, while Mike Lambert followed up with a break from his novel “Young People” with a piece called “Inter-State.” “Inter-state” starts with a day-drunk talking to a fellow day drunk but takes a unexpected turn into something more insidious. This was Bruce and Susan’s first submission, and Mike’s third to the workshop.

We were lucky to get our first crack at workshopping a genre-centered piece with the Lockharts’ “So Vein” piece.  ”So Vein” chronicled how Violet Sinclair’s deteriorating health leads her  to make a “deal with the devil” – or in this case the vampire. What she gets is not what she wanted, as she finds she’ll never appear in a picture, mirror, or photograph again. We talked about restructuring parts of the story, potentially re-writing it in first person and adding a visit to a doctor’s office or something similar to add more sympathy to Violet, and set her up before the fall. The conversation inspired allusions to other pieces where a character chooses to make a deal with someone or something, and then must deal with the unexpected consequences – A Portrait of Dorian Gray was brought up as a potential parallel.

On we moved to “Inter-State” – told almost exclusively in second person conversation and southern dialect, as a guy begins to tell a new companion (the reader) the secret of why he drinks during the day. A sample that comes towards the end of the piece:

 It’s a nice place, though. Good big community, real close to Vegas, y’know, and you meet polite folk like you who you can tell yer fucked up stories to. Like attracts like, and that’s why you stay away from lonely places like the road. Of any of the things that happened out there that night, this’s what I know for sure: If I’d gone in there, back in that store, or even just outta the truck? I think I’d have found out what was so funny, too. And I’d probably still be there, twitchin’ in flypaper.

Mike’s goal was to reduce the story to lessen the character count for a submission, and get a general vibe on what was working with the narrator’s voice and the like. The discussion was raucous and pretty awesome. Many recommended expanding the piece, rather than reducing it. We touched on some of our favorite moments such as the quote above, and more confusing moments in its supernatural twist.

The narrator was a highly educated truck driver, who had a pre-dilection for discussing physics, on one hand that character element added to a his compelling voice, but we couldn’t decide if the narrator should be self-taught or college educated, and how that should shift his voice.

Honestly, I don’t think I can do the piece or the discussion it generated justice by describing it here.    I was most impressed with Mike’s deft ability to earn a jump from colloquial to supernatural – gradually building from where the story starts at a dive bar, to a strange convenience store where not everything is right, and then escalating immediately to a world of question marks and quantum mechanics.

“Inter-State” ends with the narrator confessing he’s not really sure what world he’s in, or what reality is, and so he drinks during the day to not have to worry about making that distinction in the night, and it has the reader gets the sensation (due to second person narration) of feeling awfully fucked up in a inside, trying to understand just what the fuck happened.

We tried to figure out what the fuck happened, by heading to Lou’s Corner bar after, where we discussed the potential commercialization of breastmilk, and so much more.  The horror! The horror!

Next Thursday – we get treated to some fresh Dean Matthews, and god-bless Kara, we’ll get back to some poetry.

Look on my works ye Mighty, and despair!

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May 2nd – Kral Majales, Workshop, Butterbirds

It has been month now since I’ve been to a workshop and man that workshop itch is itchin’.

On Thursday, May 2nd, we’ll be workshoping “Inter-state” by the incomparable Mike Lambert, and “So Vein” by Bruce Lockheart the Second.

You know what is also cool? Butterbirds. Listen to the Butterbirds, drummed by the incredible and multi-talented Dean Matthews.

 

Also in honor of it being almost May, “Kral Majales” by Allen Ginsberg.

Enjoy and see you Thursday!

Mike

March 21st Recap; Looking towards April 4th

On Thursday, March 21st the Hour After Happy Hour had the pleasure of introducing two pieces of fiction from first-time contributors. If I’m not mistaken, Thursday marked the first time a story featured a murder in the plot. So all well-done—now we’ve been to bars, concerts, funerals, and parties, and now even purgatory. Where’s next? Eleven writers attended, including new member Beth Haley.

The first piece we read (due to a heated indecisive rock-paper-scissors game) was Tyson Scott’s DH Lawrence-inspired short story “Rattlesnake Hill.” The story opened with some great stream-of-consciousness imagery, following a husband’s perspective as he and his wife journey to Rattlesnake Hill, a secluded Appalachian escape. Plot twists and surprises made this piece hard to put down. Our discussion emphasized melding disparate sections of imagery with the dialogue and actions on which the plot hinges, as well as fine-tuning the plot-twists, but all made this a rich piece for discussion and reading that nearly bled into the next hour.

Our next submission featured an excerpt from Martin Van Velson’s novel-in-progress, “The Bureau of Imminent Souls.” Martin sent forty-one pages our way in total but suggested the group focus on revisions for chapter two. The piece’s humor helped to carry the narrative set in the nearly invisible setting of purgatory—making what could appear daunting or alienating to a reader relatable and hilarious. In this novel’s world, Purgatory is riddled with bureaucratic inefficiency, poor communication. I don’t know what else to say about this piece other than we’re all looking forward to watching it develop. The group talked a lot about the concept of the piece, focusing on larger ideas: what makes the piece work as it stands, and what questions might arise as it progresses?

Next week—Thursday, April 4th— we look forward to reading Justin and Beth’s first submissions to the group, and Mike Lambert will hold facilitation responsibilities. While I’m sad to say, this will be the first workshop I’ll miss, I’m very happy we’ve to say that the Hour After Happy Hour has grown to the point that it can withstand a few absences. Thanks to all of the great folks that have recently joined and the vets who have stuck it out. Thank you all.

Cheers,

Mike

Thursday, March 7th – Charles and Jonathan

Thursday, March 7th marked a milestone for the Hour After Happy Hour, and for the first time there was scarcely enough seating at the table to accommodate all of the new attendees that included – Kara, Tyson, Martin, Justin, and Sara. We had the pleasure of reading from first-time contributors Charles Brown and Jonathan Katz. I think I counted about 15 total in attendance. *Round of applause* Especially because the discussion was great.

Charles Brown’s submission was allegedly his first crack at a short story since a freshmen Intro to Fiction Writing course, and the story led to some great discussion. “For Your Consideration” followed a would-be writer struggling to “make it.” Full of irony, one of my favorite moments occurs as the narrator abandon’s the age old maxim and attempts unsuccessfully to sell-out:

“Apparently what everyone was clamoring for was more “Naturalist” short stories. But Peter knew nothing “Naturalist” about his life except that he was always sure to turn the faucet off while he brushed his teeth. Then again, if nature was what the review wanted, Peter thought he could write that, dishonest though it would seem.”

And it’s always funny how in these workshops each submission brings out something more in the other. For Jonathan Katz’s submission, we reviewed a piece of nature writing, and if I’m not mistaken this marked our first foray into Creative Non-fiction. The prompt Jonathan was responding to dealt with exploring the intersection of nature and technology #oaktree, etc, and followed two friends on a walk through Appalachian Pennsylvania as they enter the natural world to escape technology, but then become dependent on technology for their own safety. We’re excited to review the next revision as Jonathan approaches his April deadline.

So thank you to everyone who came out for the first time a couple weeks back and to everyone who has been coming week in and week out. This Thursday, we’re looking forward to reading Martin’s first submission to the group – an excerpt from a novel in progress, and what I think is going to be some poetry from Tyson, which gets me stoked in particular.

Read more Robert Hass – Drift and Vapor (Surf Faintly).

Cheers,

Mike

Feb 21st Workshop

We were delighted to read short stories from Jason Peck and Kaleigh Behe, and to welcome three new writers into THAHH fold: Charlie Brown, Jonathan Katz, and David Catalan.

We began with Jason Peck’s sophomore submission to the group – a 9 and a half page short-story entitled “At the Bar When You Get Here.” “At the Bar When You Get Here” focused on a strained relationship between two best friends- Jerry and Neil. Jerry and Neil struggle to maintain what is gradually becoming a one-sided friendship against the tests of time, disparate economic situations, and new relationships. The story was ripe with dynamic lines, and but discussion focused on a revised, or expanded ending, and different details. Hilarity ensued. There were digressions. The story stood out as true, honest, and sincere.

Like Jason, “Up in Smoke” was also Kaleigh’s sophomore submission to the group. This story was a revision and addition to ten pages submitted last month. Told from the perspective of an aging male cautiously revisiting his past, the narrator begins to re-open and perhaps to heal old wounds in the hometown he shunned for decades. “Up in Smoke” made a great juxtaposition to Jason’s laconic prose, with detailed descriptions and long flowing lines. One thing that struck me as impressive was Kaleigh’s ability to maintain a convincing first person male voice throughout the 19 pages.

March 7th is our next scheduled workshop, and we’re looking forward to hearing from Charlie and Jonathan for the first time.

Stay happy,

Mike

February 21st

I’m excited to get back together in a couple of weeks, and read new stories from Kaleigh Behe, and Jason Peck.  Catch you then,

 

Mike

2013 Event Flyer

Join us!

mgood1100@gmail.com2013 Flyer

January 24 Workshop

We’re looking forward to revisiting writers Lea Bridi and Mike Lambert this week.  I’ve added also a section to the blog where we can also revisit materials already workshopped in hopes of additional feedback.  Email me at mgood1100@gmail.com if you’d like me to post revisions or start a wordpress account, and I’ll add you as an administrator.

All writers retain copywrite of all materials posted. Do no copy, share, or modify any materials posted without the expressed written consent of  the writer. (C) 2013

2012 Wrap Up

Thanks to everyone who came out over the last few months.  Last night was great.  We will try to post some workshopped materials over break, but until then, our next workshop is scheduled at the usual time and place for Thursday, January 10, 2013, and will feature writing by Kaleigh Behe, and Jason Peck.  Happy holidays, be drunk and/or well-read for 2013.

Mike

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